All abusive relationships are difficult relationships — but not all difficult relationships are abusive. The distinguishing feature is a pattern of control, fear, or coercion. If you consistently feel like you’re walking on eggshells, if conflict feels unsafe, if your sense of reality is regularly undermined, or if you feel monitored, isolated, or manipulated — those are signals worth taking seriously, regardless of whether every moment is painful.

Yes. Abuse is any pattern of behavior used to gain or maintain power and control over another person. Emotional, psychological, verbal, financial, and sexual coercion are all forms of abuse, and their impact can be just as severe as physical violence, often more confusing and harder to name.

Narcissistic abuse refers to patterns of emotional and psychological harm that often occur in relationships with someone who has narcissistic traits — including love bombing (intense early affection), devaluation, gaslighting, and intermittent reinforcement (unpredictable cycles of warmth and withdrawal that create anxious attachment). It can be especially disorienting because the relationship often begins with the most intense connection you’ve ever felt, making the shift into harm that much harder to understand.

Nothing. Grief after leaving an abusive relationship is real and often complicated — you may be mourning the person you thought they were, the relationship you hoped it would become, and a version of yourself that existed before. Missing someone and knowing a relationship was harmful are not contradictions. They are both part of the truth.

No. The good periods are often part of the pattern — not evidence that the harmful periods weren’t real. Cycles of tension, harm, and reconciliation (sometimes called the “cycle of abuse”) are characteristic of many abusive relationships. The warmth and connection you experience are real, and they don’t cancel out the harm.

No. Therapy is not contingent on any particular decision. You can be in the relationship, ambivalent, actively planning to leave, or already out — and all of those are valid places to begin. Pressure to leave before you’re ready can actually increase danger in some situations. A good therapist will support your autonomy, not their own agenda.

Because leaving is rarely just an emotional decision; it involves safety, finances, housing, children, immigration status, community, and the grief of losing someone you loved. Beyond logistics, trauma bonding (an intense emotional attachment that can form under conditions of intermittent reward and fear) can make separation feel psychologically unbearable, even when you know intellectually that leaving is right. None of this is weakness. It is a predictable response to an abnormal situation.

No. Research consistently shows that survivors leave an average of seven times before leaving permanently, not because they are weak or in denial, but because leaving is genuinely dangerous and difficult. Returning does not disqualify you from support. It means you’re navigating something very hard.

Therapy can last any time between a year to many more, as long as you are still progressing from our work. The length of therapy depends on what you want and need, and what you want/need can be fluid and dynamic. 

Healing and personal growth is not strict or predictable. You can start off by wanting to address something very specific (e.g. “I want to feel less anxious”), but through our work together could realize a deeper meaning to these anxious symptoms (e.g. “I feel anxious because I am terrified of intimacy” to “I’ve had very familiar experiences of being emotionally suffocated when I was close to people”). Realizing these deeper long-standing issues may then shape the focus and length of treatment. 

Regardless of why you are seeking therapy and how long you hope to be in treatment, it is important to remember that your thoughts and input are invaluable to me, and the pace and length of treatment will always be a collaborative discussion.

Meeting consistently and stably on a weekly basis will help build safety and trust, which is essential for the work to progress on a deeper level. Biweekly sessions impact the effectiveness of therapy. 

Often, meeting less frequently results in a ‘catch up’ type of session and does not allow for the time, space, and emotional capacity needed to address what goes on beneath the surface.

Depending on the level of our work, there are also times when meeting two or more times a week is appropriate, and that will always come from us talking and making that decision together.

If you have out-of-network benefits, your insurance may be able to reimburse you for approximately 50%-80% of each session after the out-of-network deductible is met.

Out-of-network psychotherapy coverage varies by carrier and policy. It can be confusing, but we’re here to help! If you aren’t sure whether or not you have out-of-network benefits, we can check for you. Just email your insurance card and date of birth to info@imagineemotionalwellness.com 

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