Therapy For Self Esteem

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Self-esteem is a term that refers to your overall sense of self-worth. The way you feel about yourself, your value, what you deserve, and what you can achieve is tied to nearly everything –- your career choices, relationship patterns, friendships, self-care, ability to learn from challenges, and so on. 

If you have low self-esteem, you might feel stagnant in your life and personal growth. You may be self-critical, withdrawn, clingy, or people pleasing.

Or, maybe you stay in jobs or relationships that aren’t fulfilling or healthy for you. The idea of being able to find someone better suited for you feels almost impossible. The possibility that YOU can find and be chosen by a better job, better person, or better friends feels unimaginable because in your mind there are so many things that are not “good enough” about you.  

Address the root of your self-esteem so you can navigate life with a holistic and balanced sense of self.

Signs of Low Self Esteem

Do you often experience these or ask yourself these questions?

Or, here are some more subtle signs: 

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Mental Signs

  • Imagining worse case scenarios
  • Overthinking
  • Constantly comparing yourself to others
  • Unrealistic expectations of yourself and/or others
  • Forget aspects of a situation that was anxiety-provoking
  • Mental exhaustion
  • Mind going blank
  • Mind racing
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Intrusive thoughts

Emotional Signs

  • Excessive worry or fear
  • Sense of impending doom
  • Feeling on edge
  • Fear of disappointing others
  • Irritability
  • Feeling tense and restless
  • Being easily angered
  • Need to escape or get away
  • Experiencing panic attacks
  • Feeling overwhelmed

Physical Signs

  • Fatigue
  • Tenseness
  • Headaches
  • Sudden hot or cold flashes
  • Trembling
  • Heart pounding
  • Shortness of breathe
  • Swearing
  • Dizziness or light-headiness
  • Stomach pains

Our Approach to Treating Low Self-Esteem

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Uncover the roots of your low self-esteem. Sometimes, seeing yourself with low worth develops as a result of messages, implicit or explicit, communicated to us by our family, community, or society at large about us. Other times, it develops for more complicated reasons. This is what we will collaboratively figure out in therapy.

Imagine being able to approach challenges and opportunities with excitement and creativity about what you can achieve rather than being overcome with fear and doubt. Imagine being able to see yourself, your strengths, your areas of growth, and yourself with acceptance and compassion. This is what we will journey towards in the process of therapy.

Here are some ways we can address your self-esteem:

Schedule a free 15 minute phone consult here

Prioritize your mental health and self-care from the comfort of your home.

Schedule a phone consult here. We’ll chat about any questions you might have, and it’ll be an opportunity for me to learn more about you and what you’re going through.

Frequently Asked Questions

about Low Self-Esteem

Low self-esteem is a negative self-evaluation of one’s worth or value as a person. It involves a persistent belief that one is inferior or inadequate compared to others, and often involves negative self-talk and self-criticism. Individuals with low self-esteem may have a negative view of themselves and their abilities, and may struggle with feelings of shame, guilt, and self-doubt. Read more about low self-esteem here.

Low self-esteem can come from a confluence of multiple factors. Here are a few of them: 

  1. Childhood experiences: Early experiences such as neglect, abuse, criticism, or bullying can have a lasting impact on self-esteem. Children who experience consistent negative messages or rejection from parents, caregivers, or peers may internalize these messages and develop a negative self-image.
  2. Negative self-talk: Negative self-talk, or the habit of criticizing oneself and focusing on flaws and mistakes, can contribute to low self-esteem. This pattern of thinking can become a self-fulfilling prophecy, reinforcing negative beliefs about oneself and undermining self-confidence.
  3. Social comparison: Constantly comparing oneself to others and feeling that one falls short can also contribute to low self-esteem. Social media and other forms of media can exacerbate social comparisons and lead to feelings of inadequacy.
  4. Trauma or major life changes: Traumatic events or major life changes, such as a divorce, job loss, or a serious illness, can also trigger feelings of low self-esteem. These events can challenge one’s sense of identity and cause a loss of self-confidence.

Low self-esteem can impact various aspects of a person’s life, including their relationships, work, and overall well-being. It can contribute to feelings of anxiety, depression, and social isolation. Individuals with low self-esteem may have difficulty asserting themselves, setting boundaries, and pursuing their goals and aspirations.

Low self-esteem can have a significant impact on relationships. Here are a few ways in which low self-esteem can affect relationships:

  1. Difficulty expressing needs and boundaries: People with low self-esteem may have difficulty asserting their needs and setting boundaries in relationships. They may fear rejection or believe that their needs are unimportant, which can lead to resentment and dissatisfaction in relationships.
  2. Tendency to seek validation: People with low self-esteem may rely heavily on external validation and approval from their partners, leading to clingy or dependent behaviors. This can put pressure on the relationship and may create a dynamic of unequal power.
  3. Trust issues: Low self-esteem can also lead to trust issues in relationships. Individuals with low self-esteem may doubt their own worth and may therefore struggle to trust their partners’ feelings or intentions. They may also be more likely to experience jealousy or insecurity in relationships.
  4. Difficulty with intimacy: Low self-esteem can make it difficult for individuals to feel comfortable with emotional or physical intimacy. They may feel undeserving of love or intimacy, which can create a barrier to closeness in relationships.
  5. Insecurity and conflict: Low self-esteem can contribute to feelings of insecurity and self-doubt, which can fuel conflicts and disagreements in relationships. Individuals with low self-esteem may be more sensitive to criticism or rejection, leading to defensive or reactive behaviors in relationships.

Low self-esteem can be a risk factor for depression, although not everyone with low self-esteem will develop depression. Research has shown that individuals with low self-esteem may be more vulnerable to developing depression in response to stressful life events or negative experiences.

Low self-esteem can contribute to negative thoughts and feelings about oneself, leading to a sense of hopelessness and despair that are common in depression. People with low self-esteem may also be more likely to experience social isolation and difficulty in relationships, which can also contribute to depression.

Low self-esteem can be a risk factor for anxiety. Low self-esteem can contribute to negative thoughts and feelings about oneself, which can lead to anxiety symptoms such as worry, fear, and panic. For example, if someone has low self-esteem and doubts their ability to perform well in social situations, they may experience anxiety in those situations.

In addition, people with low self-esteem may be more likely to experience negative events such as rejection or failure, which can also contribute to anxiety symptoms.

Therapy can be very helpful in addressing and improving low self-esteem. A therapist specializing in low self-esteem can provide a safe and supportive space to explore the underlying causes of low self-esteem and work on developing more positive self-beliefs and behaviors. Therapy can also help you develop self-compassion and learn to be more accepting and kind to yourself.

Past experiences, such as childhood trauma or negative relationships, can have a lasting impact on self-esteem. A therapist can help you process these experiences and work towards healing and self-acceptance.

Finally, people with low self-esteem may struggle with assertiveness and setting boundaries in relationships. A therapist can help you develop these skills and learn to communicate your needs effectively.

Therapy can be a powerful tool for improving self-esteem and enhancing overall well-being. It’s important to find a therapist who is trained in working with low self-esteem to adequately address these issues.

If you have out-of-network benefits, your insurance may be able to reimburse you for approximately 50%-80% of each session after the out-of-network deductible is met.

Out-of-network psychotherapy coverage varies by carrier and policy. It can be confusing, but we’re here to help! If you aren’t sure whether or not you have out-of-network benefits, we can check for you. Just email your insurance card and date of birth to 

Meeting consistently and stably on a weekly basis will help build safety and trust, which is essential for the work to progress on a deeper level. Biweekly sessions impact the effectiveness of therapy. 

Often, meeting less frequently results in a ‘catch up’ type of session and does not allow for the time, space, and emotional capacity needed to address what goes on beneath the surface.

Depending on the level of our work, there are also times when meeting two or more times a week is appropriate, and that will always come from us talking and making that decision together.

Therapy can last any time between a year to many more, as long as you are still progressing from our work. The length of therapy depends on what you want and need, and what you want/need can be fluid and dynamic. 

Healing and personal growth is not strict or predictable. You can start off by wanting to address something very specific (e.g. “I want to feel less anxious”), but through our work together could realize a deeper meaning to these anxious symptoms (e.g. “I feel anxious because I am terrified of intimacy” to “I’ve had very familiar experiences of being emotionally suffocated when I was close to people”). Realizing these deeper long-standing issues may then shape the focus and length of treatment. 

Regardless of why you are seeking therapy and how long you hope to be in treatment, it is important to remember that your thoughts and input are invaluable to me, and the pace and length of treatment will always be a collaborative discussion.

Anyone who wants a space to explore and discover more about themselves can benefit from therapy. If you’re unsure, try asking yourself these questions:

  • Am I content with the way I live my life?
  • Is the way I live myself and relate to others congruent with what I authentically value , feel, and want?
  • Are there areas of my life or self-development that I feel stuck in?
  • Have I been trying the same things over and over again to feel better, expecting different results, but still feeling stagnant?

You may not need to know the full answer to these questions to try a few sessions. Sometimes, mulling this over aloud with a therapist can help you sort out your thoughts and answers. That’s also part of the therapy process!

Here are 3 simple steps.

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